Tuesday. I’m nothing if not stubborn. Okay clean up the coffee you just sputtered all over your desk. Yes, yes, I know you think I’m kind of stubborn, but really, I’m REALLY stubborn. The more someone tells me I can’t do something the more determined I am to do it. Mr. Universe is piling on the challenges but here’s a news flash Mister Mister, I’m not budging, you can either come along for the ride or suffer the wrath of my determination. (Okay, I’ll admit I just ducked for a second looking for stray lightning bolts.)
Last week I had my first full decent training week. I say decent because I’m way behind the eight-ball but at least I see the room where the where the eight-ball sits. I got in all the assigned workouts to the best of my abilities. That’s all I can ask for. I was really nervous about Saturday’s training because we had a one-hour team swim and then a three-hour bike. It had been so long since I had been on my bike for any really length of time I wasn’t really sure that I could make it. But I did the swim and three and a half hours in the saddle including three really sorry excuses for hill repeats (rest of the team did four, five and I even heard six and an extra 20 miles from one person). But for me, for where I am now, I was thrilled. I wasn’t dizzy, I wasn’t faint, okay I wasn’t fast either but it’s okay. I did it and although my legs were killing me afterwards, I was very happy. On Sunday I did a two-hour run (using the word “run” as a synonym for jog nine minutes/walk one minute). But again I broke the mythical 90-minute barrier and my limiter was my quads from the day before not my system. My heart rate was appropriate for the effort I was giving all weekend and I can’t adequately explain how absolutely happy that makes me. This I can work with. No dizziness, no rapid heart rate, no feeling like I need to lie down for a quick nap in order to get home or worrying if I can even make it back to the car. No joint pain. No knee pain. No mental exhaustion before I even start. It was very hard but it was doable. This was a good workout week and I ended with a very solid effort for my level of fitness right now. I can’t ask for anything more. “No? Don’t worry”, says Mr. Universe, “I have plenty more you can ask for.”
Last week I also had to go to CT to help my parents go get new dentures. Apparently if you live into your 90’s you actually can wear out your dentures…. They don’t build teeth for my family’s longevity and they both have to go through what I had no idea is quite an ordeal. So back we went to our new home-away-from-home, UCONN Medical Center. It takes 2 months to make a proper set of dentures and they have to go through multiple fittings each. I immediately came home and flossed my teeth. I will be upping my the flossing my teeth to three times a day for now on. I want to fend off dentures as long as possible. I felt bad that they have to go through all of this at their age but the end result will be for a much better quality of life for the next 100 years that they live because these two are not going anywhere.
I had to go back up to CT yesterday because my Dad was getting clearance from his visiting nurses to be no longer home-bound (yeah!) and I had to take my Mom to yet another doctor for her consult on her hands. I also needed to play office manager on the medical paperwork that is starting to pile up. Don’t get me started on our Health Care System in America. But how do they expect 90 year old people to sift through the mounds of bills and paperwork that come pouring in. Medicare, supplement coverage, Medicare part B, part D, reimbursement only insurance. Pay this and we’ll pay you back. It’s ridiculous. My Mom needs to have surgery on both of her hands and for the next month or so we will have to have two more surgeries and more visiting nurses to help her. So we may actually have two visiting nurses at one time in our house. One for my dad and one for my mom. It will be like having an in-house nursing staff. If this wasn’t so crazy I’d cry so all I can do is shake my head, look up at the sky and say “what else ya got? ’cause that is not enough to break me.” “Oh No? Don’t worry”, says Mr. Universe, “Just wait.”
Work has been crazy. Projects coming in from everywhere all at once. Apparently everyone has ignored my memos to organize their work projects around my training schedule and my parent’s health. You need what by when? Just write it down, just write it down. I’m so grateful for virtual offices and how did we work before the Internet? I truly do not understand how anyone got anything done in the seventies or before…. My google phone has been furiously delegating all weekend and yesterday as I waited patiently in the doctor’s office with my Mom while trying to figure out when I would get my run and bike in on Tuesday if the rain/snow storm is coming. Because I’m not giving up just because there is crappy weather, and sick people and too much work, oh and now some lady bugs infesting the house again did I forget to mention that?
So here is how I am handling it all. I have a new mantra “it will all be good in the end.” I don’t exactly know where or when the end is, but I just keep repeating that. “It will all be good in the end.” Just focus on one thing at a time. Just the thing in front of you and make lots of lists. Lots of lists. I’m not getting upset. I’m not tracking points but I’m trying to be mindful. I’m trying to pay attention to what I am doing right here and right now. Because if I worry about the four hundred items on the lists in front of me I will freak out. But I’m not going to do that. I am meditating every day and my meditation practice is getting stronger and stronger and I feel it is really helping me to stay focused and calm.
“Oh really? Just a reminder that you have bookclub in two days and you haven’t even bought the book.” Interupts Mr. Universe.
Seriously, if you think that is even going to faze me, bring it, ’cause I’m not backing down.